Our moral dilemma decisions are answers to questions, whether we realize it or not. Some questions are simple and unconscious: What will please me the most? What do other people want me to do? What ought I to do? It's good to take notice of these subterranean musings and start to take control of them posing our own questions to direct ourselves. I've started to use one and it's the prompt for this blog.
What decision will I be most proud of?
I've read a good bit from certain religious authors who say that pride is the greatest of all sins, the essence of all sins, the source of all sins. That's never really sat right with me for a number of reasons. One of which is that there's so many definitions of the word 'pride' and another reason is that 'pride' has been such an integral part of moral decisions (both actively and just in retrospection).
So, what I'd like to do, with your help, is to dissect out what good and bad pride are, if there is indeed such things.
“I feel good about this” Pride
- Taking pleasure in something meeting a standard--a decision, a person, an event, your self
- The 'this' could be
- Others
- An action/decision
- Past oriented
- Standard--an internalized one
- Continuum:
- I beat myself up about my decisions--I don't care about my decisions--I feel good about my decisions
- Results
- Likely repetition of behavior since internally rewarded
- Conscience is strengthened when followed
- Endearment to others whom you're proud of
- Attribution
- You did this
- Results in endearment and affection
- Often relationally salubrious
- I did this
- My circumstances are responsible for this
- Helpful questions
- How is my positive feeling pride affecting my view of myself? Others? My standard?
- How can I motivate myself to repeat the positive action without being puffed up or comparative to others?
“I’m better than that” Pride - Thinking highly of yourself
- The 'this' could be...
- An action, like a vice
- Often positive
- If I give an example like, "I'm better than male prostitution for crack," it would seem to imply that I'm better than the people that do those things. Not necessarily if you also firmly believe that the people doing those actions are also far better than that and deserve way more.
- A situation
- Can be good--like not turning into a door mat
- Can be bad--like not serving others because you're too good for it
- Future oriented
- Standard--internalized
- Continuum
- I deserve punishment/worse than others--I don't deserve anything/the same as others--I deserve rewards/better than others
- Results
- Having standards of treatment
- It is bad for other people to be allowed to walk all over you. You lose by being trampled on and they lose by becoming more immoral
- Isolation from others because of an unwillingness to serve
- A resistance of evil
- Attribution
- I get my worth from how I'm treated
- My treatment is indeterminate of my worth
- Helpful Questions
- What would I want others to do for me?
- Am I being hawty/conceited/arrogant?
“I have no flaws” Pride
- Thinking you have no flaws
- Standard
- Past/present oriented (and future?)
- Continuum
- I am evil/despicable/a failure--I accurately see my flaws--I have no flaws/I'm perfect
- Results
- Inability to grow or see flaws
- Attribution
- I have made myself perfect
- I am among the privileged perfect by circumstances or divine appointment
- Helpful Questions
- What flaws do I avoid seeing?
- What am I in denial about?
- How can I grow?
“I’m better than you” Pride
- High estimation of social ranking/importance/better than others
- Less bad and/or more good in comparison
- Standard
- Present oriented (and past? future?)
- Continuum
- I'm worse than others--I'm the same as others--I'm better than others
- Results
- Isolation
- Judgmentalism
- Inability to grow or see flaws
- Over estimation of ability--disappointment destination/impending failure
- Attribution
- I made me better than you
- God/genetics/life made me better than you
- Helpful Questions
- Is it possible my good is from my circumstances and my bad is from me?
- What should I own up to?
- Is there a circumstantial explanation for others actions that might elevate my opinion of them?
- What better standard might I use other than those around me?
Conclusion:
- Appreciate the good within you
- It doesn't have to be conceit if what you're appreciating is moral good, justice, righteousness
- Are you appreciating in others the same good, though?
- Realize there is much you can't take credit for
- I think of Newton who said that he couldn't take any credit for the discoveries he made. He, "Was standing on the shoulders of giants." The distance he saw was only because of the height of others.
- Recognize your flaws
- It's the only way you can grow
- “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Phil 2:3